A colourful and intriguing question, the mind is powerful , it is our whole self.

As Ovid wrote in 10 BC, “When the mind is ill at ease, the body suffers.”
How true that is.

Our minds begin to be shaped long before we take our first breath. From gestation in the womb, we are already absorbing and responding to the world around us. The environments we grow up in , how we are loved, nurtured, challenged, and understood , form our sense of knowns and normals, our anxieties, and our strengths.

As we move into adulthood, new settings and relationships continue to shape how we perceive the world and how safe we feel within it. Our evolutionary psychology reminds us that safety, belonging, and love are not luxuries, they are fundamental human needs.

How stable and grounded we feel influences everything: our resilience, our insight, our peace, our tolerance, and our capacity to understand ourselves and others.

The mind is complex and fascinating , but like a garden, it sometimes needs a prune, a tame, and a gentle tweak.

Over the decades, our life story quietly shapes who we become.
By pausing to reflect on that story , to notice our patterns, our nuances, even our nuisances . We begin to understand ourselves in a new way.

We look back at how our mothers, fathers, and carers influenced our thinking, our behaviour, and our beliefs. We consider the environment we grew up in: the amount of food, the relationships with food, the warmth in the home, and from the people who cared for us, the love and to what degree, the exercise and opportunities, the kindness, the scrutiny, the pressures, and the arguments.

From there, we begin to see the patterns that led us here , and meet ourselves , in this moment, at this age.

It’s here that the real work begins: what’s next?

If we are fortunate enough to live on this earth for 75 years , that’s around 4,000 weeks. What do we hope to make of the weeks we have left? What do we want to do with them? How do we want to live them?

Questions around success, money, fulfilment, love, relationships, and people-pleasing naturally arise. Exploring these themes is powerful, discerning, and eye-opening.

If you want to live with intention, peace, even a legacy, this is a space to begin.

The mind is like a garden , alive, intricate, and always growing. Like vines, our attachments take root: some secure and supportive, others tangled or uncertain. These connections, formed early in life, shape the way we relate to ourselves and to others.

In childhood, our experiences , the safety we felt, the love we received, or the instability we endured , begin to wire our brains. These early patterns become schemas: deep templates for how we think, feel, and act.

Sometimes, these schemas serve us well. But often, they carry the imprint of what we once had to survive. For example, a child who experienced absence or scarcity , an absent parent, little food, unpredictable care , may grow up with a schema that equates chaos with normality. As adults, we can unknowingly seek out that same chaos, mistaking it for comfort or truth.

When we make decisions through these old patterns, we are often being guided by a version of ourselves from decades ago , a self that once needed to protect us, but no longer needs to. Because these schemas and attachments live deep in the subconscious, they’re hard to spot. They sit quietly in the shadows.

Life Story Work invites us to bring light to those shadows , to understand our attachments, our schemas, and how our minds can prune and rewire through awareness and care. This process, often called shadow work, can be tender, tiring, and transformative. But awareness is the first and most powerful step toward healing.Description text goes here

Our nervous system runs throughout our entire body, guiding every experience we have — physical, emotional, and mental. It moves between different states: sympathetic (activation, alertness) and parasympathetic (rest, restoration). I feel sure there are more states yet to be understood as research evolves.

We often talk about triggers and how to manage them and using the tools such as breathwork, journaling, gentle clenching and release, reframing, or body scanning. These are all wonderful ways to work with ourselves after we have been triggered.

But what I find truly transformational is learning to recognise the shifts before we fully trigger , noticing the early signs of activation in the body and mind. When we begin to sense the subtle changes, we create space to respond rather than react.

When the nervous system stays in a state of high alert for too long, the body suffers. Chronic activation can lead to inflammation, hormonal imbalance, exhaustion, and even heart problems. I’ve heard people speak of friends who seemed incredibly fit , running, training, keeping busy , and yet their nervous systems were overloaded for years. Chronic stress can be punishing to the physical form, no matter how healthy we appear on the outside.

When we learn to know our body and mind , to understand what regulation feels like , we can begin to recognise our triggers, soothe our responses, and bring ourselves back into balance. Our bodies can then move freely, our muscles can release, and our joints can soften. Emotionally, we can feel more accepting, peaceful, and capable.

This work takes time and patience. It often happens in stages , and it’s good, and sometimes essential, to have support along the way.

Values, Beliefs, and Legacy

We are each born into a language, a culture, and a set of beliefs.
We inherit values, traditions, and ways of seeing the world , shaped by where we are born and by those who raise us.

As we grow, move through stages, and evolve, something begins to stir.
We start to ask:
What do I believe in?
What do I value?
Which parts of my upbringing feel true, and which have I outgrown?

This questioning isn’t rebellion — it’s awakening.
It’s the point at which we begin to separate what was given to us from what we now choose to hold.

We may value time with others — their truth, integrity, kindness, respectful behaviour, and gentle language.
We may value thoughtfulness, generosity, and authenticity, and seek relationships that reflect those same qualities.

And yet, we still ask ourselves:
Am I living in alignment with my own values — or am I conforming to what culture expects of me?
Would I feel freer by the sea, or on a mountain?
Would peace come from simplicity, or from connection?

Do I need these things — success, possessions, recognition?
I may appreciate their brilliance, their beauty, their mechanics — and yet, need is something else entirely.
Where do I sit now?
Am I anchored in what I truly value, or drifting in what the world tells me I should want?

These questions are not about escape , they are about returning.
Returning to ourselves.
To what feels right, peaceful, and true.

Our values become our compass, and our beliefs our grounding.
From them, our legacy begins to unfold , not through grand gestures, but in the quiet, consistent ways we live, love, and lead.

Legacy is not about status or achievement; it is about impact, integrity, and intention.
It is how we make people feel, what we contribute, and what remains in the hearts of others after we are gone.

When we live by our chosen values, we move from existing to living with purpose , creating a life that is congruent, wholehearted, and deeply our own.

it can be easy to peel off a layer, but it can be hard.

Working Through Trauma, Grief, and Burnout

You may have experienced a relationship breaking down , in love, friendship, or work. You may have lost someone, or faced something that shocked and unsettled you. These experiences shape us, often sitting quietly in the background of our lives until something triggers their echo.

This space isn’t about reliving those events , unless you choose to , but about learning how to work with them. We acknowledge that these memories and sensations may stay with us for life, yet through awareness and compassion, we can carry them more lightly.

We have hope, we know that when someone dies, we can go into ‘ 12 weeks deep grief,’ ( an academic model), or into ‘The five stages’ of grief, whatever we resonate with, we know that in time, we do feel less burdened, less grief stricken and quieter.

The brain cannot always distinguish between physical and emotional pain — pain is pain. But we must acknowledge , that we do not live entirely in pain. There are moments of release, even fleeting ones, that show us what peace feels like. These are our foundations , firm places within us that we can return to and build upon.

Burnout, especially after prolonged stress or emotional strain, can leave us conflicted: we know we need rest, yet feel driven to act; we crave stillness, yet fear stagnation. This push and pull can exhaust the nervous system, leaving the body inflamed, tense, or unwell. When we listen to these signals and respond with gentleness rather than guilt, healing begins to take root.

Sometimes, though, acknowledgment isn’t enough. There comes a moment when we feel ready , or compelled , to go deeper. This is the realm of shadow work.

Shadow work is the process of meeting the parts of ourselves that we have denied, hidden, or disowned , the emotions, impulses, and memories we learned to push away to stay safe or acceptable. It’s sometimes known as inner work, integration, or deep self-inquiry.

Through reflection, journaling, therapy, or mindful exploration, we turn toward what we once turned away from. We meet our fear, our anger, our shame , not to relive them, but to understand them, forgive ourselves and thank ourselves for feeling them and then work out what i am learning from carry this anger, hurt, shame, what it is giving, what it is taking. and to move into who we are today..

This can be exhausting, humbling, and profoundly freeing. Awareness is always the first step, but when we feel resourced and supported, deeper work allows for transformation rather than repetition.

Life is precious and short. Trauma and suffering are part of it , but so are recovery, self-compassion, and renewal. The path forward is not about perfection, but presence. We learn to listen, to acknowledge, and to act , kindly, consistently, and with courage.

Listening to Your Body: What Your Data and Nervous System Reveal

Our bodies hold extraordinary intelligence. They speak to us constantly — through breath, heart rate, tension, and energy levels — long before our minds have caught up. Modern tools such as wearable devices, heart rate monitors, and blood tests offer valuable clues about our biological wellbeing, but true understanding comes when we learn to listen to what those signals mean.

Do you notice a pain in your neck when you’re stressed, or a tightening in your lower back when you feel overwhelmed? These sensations are your nervous system’s way of communicating — showing you where it’s working hard to keep you safe.

Heart rate variability (HRV), for example, is one of the body’s most sensitive indicators of wellbeing. A flexible HRV pattern suggests a resilient nervous system, able to move smoothly between calm and alert states. The vagus nerve — the great communicator between brain, heart, and gut — constantly monitors your inner world, helping you find balance through breath, movement, and connection.

This is the essence of interoception: tuning into your body’s inner landscape. When we develop this awareness through body scanning or mindful noticing, we begin to understand our emotional world more clearly and respond with greater compassion.

Simple biological insights, such as a blood panel or checking cortisol rhythms, can serve as a mini MOT — helping you see how your body is responding to daily life. From there, we can explore how your mind and environment influence those biological patterns, creating a coherent picture of your whole wellbeing.

True health is not just physical or mental , it’s the conversation between your biology, psychology, and the world around you.

Have you ever noticed how you sometimes become ill the moment you stop — when you finally take a holiday, finish a big project, or pause after an emotionally intense period? Suddenly, your body seems to collapse; you feel flat, tearful, or even come down with a cold. This isn’t coincidence. It’s your nervous system and energy body recalibrating.

During periods of sustained effort, we operate on adrenaline — our sympathetic system keeps us “switched on,” carrying us through challenges. Our energy frequency is high, but in a protective, survival-driven way. When the external pressure eases, the body shifts toward rest and repair — the parasympathetic response. That dip we feel is actually our system releasing stored tension, emotions, and physiological debris. Energetically, it’s a moment of realignment. Spiritually, it’s an invitation to honour the pause , to allow the body and soul to catch up with what the mind has endured.

When we work together, we explore the self as a whole system — mind, body, and energy — each influencing the other through vibration and flow. Modern psychology and neuroscience increasingly recognise what ancient traditions have always known: our inner state shapes our energetic frequency, and this frequency in turn shapes our health, emotions, and relationships.

At a biological level, our energy reflects the functioning of our nervous system. When we feel safe, connected, and inspired, our system moves into regulation — our heart rhythm is coherent, our breath is steady, and our body communicates harmony. This is a high-frequency state: we feel light, creative, healthy, and open.

When we experience fear, grief, or overwhelm, our system contracts. The vagus nerve signals defence; our breath shortens; our cells shift into protection rather than growth. This is a low-frequency state, often accompanied by fatigue, illness, or emotional heaviness.

By understanding ourselves as energetic beings, we begin to see that every thought, feeling, and interaction carries a vibration. We can then consciously influence our state , learning to regulate, release, and realign. This awareness is both empowering and healing.

Ultimately, this work is about cultivating balance: recognising when our frequency dips, understanding why, and learning to bring it back into coherence with compassion and awareness. The more attuned we become to our energy, the more naturally peace, health, and purpose arise.

Understanding Health: Biopsychosocial and Holistic Models

The Biopsychosocial Model, introduced by George L. Engel in 1977, provides a framework for understanding health and human experience as the result of interconnected biological, psychological, and social factors. It recognises that illness and wellbeing are not determined solely by the body, but also by thoughts, emotions, behaviours, relationships, and life circumstances. By considering all these dimensions, the model supports a holistic understanding of the individual, encouraging personalised approaches to healing, growth, and self-awareness.

The Holistic Model extends this perspective further by treating the person as body, mind, spirit, and energy. It acknowledges that health and wellbeing are shaped by lifestyle, environment, relationships, and energetic or spiritual states. Holistic approaches integrate conventional medicine with practices that support self-regulation, energy flow, and alignment, allowing us to understand not just what is happening in the body or mind, but why it is happening and how we can consciously influence it.

Together, these models help us see that wellbeing is multi-dimensional. They provide a foundation for understanding ourselves as energetic beings whose physical, emotional, and spiritual states are deeply connected. This perspective empowers us to actively regulate our energy, cultivate balance, and foster coherence across mind, body, and spirit.

Wellness is not about big gestures or dramatic lifestyle overhauls — those are often hard to maintain. True, lasting wellbeing starts small, from zero to one, and gradually builds: one small, achievable habit at a time.

For example, our farrier works long hours, bent over his horses, carrying a heavy physical load. He knows he should go to the gym or swim to support his body, but with a young family and a busy work schedule, that just doesn’t happen. Together, we devised simple stretches he can do before getting into his van, using the van or a wall as support. We linked them to natural cues in his day , for example, taking payment or writing in his diary. These small, achievable actions become tools for wellness that don’t require a large time commitment but gradually support his physical health.

Similarly, a neighbour of ours struggles with burnout from heavy work and life demands. We introduced tiny habits like brain off-loading and body scanning at the end of each task , taking a moment to check in with himself before moving on. These are small, repeatable steps that build awareness and resilience over time.

The key is this: wellness is a process, not a quick fix. Any strategy that promises instant results is misleading. True change comes from your actions first, not your emotions. Don’t wait to “feel like it” — start the habit, and the benefits and positive feelings will follow.

By starting small and building gradually, from one habit to the next, you create a personal toolkit for wellbeing. Over time, these simple, consistent practices accumulate, supporting your mind, body, and energy and making sustainable wellness possible.